Bow Ties are Cool

Sometimes, my sister and I have awesome conversations that should be shared with the world. And sometimes, I’m really funny and want people to know about it.

No, she is not normally put into my phone as "Seester", but since she is my seester, I figured it would be fine.

No, she is not normally put into my phone as “Seester”, but since she is my seester, I figured it would be fine.

Seriously, you should take the time to Google women in bow ties. It is not a good look for anyone involved, I’m sorry to say.

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Literary Desires

Have you ever had one of those moments in books where you get the overwhelming DESIRE to do something described in what you’re reading? I’m not talking about some food that sounds good (although that totally happens – the Turkish Delight from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? Sounds delicious in the book! In real life, it’s basically just nasty covered in powdered sugar, and I am not the only one who feels this way.)

I’m talking about an itching need to do something you read about – something you would never do in real life, but you can imagine yourself doing it in a past life, and crave the feeling again.

Recently I was reading Dorothy Allison’s Bastard out of Carolina, where she describes a whole family of people who drink and chew tobacco and do all sorts of things that you would expect a family of hillbillies to do, and I got the urge to do something that I have never in my life wanted to do: smoke a cigarette.

The way she describes it, it just sounded so comforting and normal,  like it was something you would naturally do (which is true for a lot of people, I guess). I was shocked at my urge to smoke a cigarette, because I come from not only a family of non-smokers, but a family that is heavy into the medical field (I have a lot of nurses in my family). I know that if I ever started smoking, I would get bombarded with factoids, pictures and other paraphernalia that is used to scare smokers into quitting. It’s never really been an option to me, and even at my most rebellious (which, lets face it, was nowhere near rebellious), I would never have even considered starting to smoke.

To me, it is a sign of an excellent writer that they can spark such natural desire in a reader to do something so uncharacteristic.

Sometimes Facebook makes me smile

Sometimes Facebook gets its timing just right to brighten up an otherwise gloomy day in the office. I love it when non-sentient beings get snarky.

religion

Timing points – +1000.

 

Side note: If you are getting your major news stories from a wordpress website, you should probably understand that the facts are probably not as they seem, since wordpress sites are free and anyone can start up a “news” site to spout their own opinions.

I would say I’m only judging a little, but who am I kidding? I’m judging a lot.

 

Decor ideas from Big Boy

So, I work in a cubicle. It’s a nice cubicle, with glass walls instead of the blue-carpet-covered-corkboard crap, but it’s a cubicle nonetheless: no door, big desk, computer – you know the drill.

Privacy? What privacy?

Privacy? What privacy?

The problem is that the other side of my glass wall faces a main walkway in my office – great for being a busybody and knowing who is where at most times, less great when people see you through the glass and remember something vitally important that they need to tell you.

This usually ends up with:

  • Me asking them to repeat themselves at least twice
  • Them giving up on repeating themselves more than twice, and walking around to the front of my desk

or, my personal favorite,

  • Them standing on their tippy-toes and pointing their faces at the top of the glass in an effort to help their voice carry over to my ears (yes, it has happened).

All of this has made me decide that I need to take some decorating tips from Big Boy.

Have you ever gone to a Big Boy and had more than the designated four people in your party? They do this awesome thing with the booths where they will take out the middle window section that divides two booth, letting you see everyone in your overly large party without having to sit at separate booths (at least, this is an option at the Big Boy I frequented in my childhood). It was an amazingly easy way to be able to talk to people, and would really solve my people-talking-to-me-through-a-window-like-a-penguin-in-a-zoo problem.

So I think it is time that I formally request slide down window-walls in my office, to further the communications between myself and my fellow coworkers. Although I will miss the unique ways in which they try to talk to me through the glass…

Bet You Didn’t Hear About This on the News…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this phrase on Facebook in the last few months, generally followed by a link to a news story about a horrible murder/rape/despicable act (extra points if the despicable act involves people of two different races!).

I know it stems from the amount of time newscasters have spent on the Trayvon Martin case, but this is such an obnoxious way to say that you find the amount of coverage unnecessary (and, in my opinion, a way to be a racist without having to resort to the n-word on public forums).

The thing that especially bugs me about these “unique” Facebook posts is the fact that most of the links are to major news sites (Fox, ABC, CBS, etc.), which means that whoever posted this article about a “pregnant woman killed in brutal racially motivated murder” found it on a news site! You’re commenting on how it is not in the news (supposedly due to extreme coverage of an African-American boy who was shot that you have no feelings for), while you read the article in the news!

Gah!

Sometimes I just can’t stand people, and more and more those people are on my Facebook. I honestly think that this is the reason why a lot of (younger) people are flocking to social medias like twitter – it’s a bit more casual in that you can unfollow someone who bugs you without them knowing, and they can still follow you. It makes me feel better about whittling down my friends list, in a way that I feel I cannot do on Facebook (without horribly offending people that I really don’t care about, but would rather not offend, because I’m a bit of a pussy like that).

Okay, I just needed to rant that out a bit. Thanks for staying with me (unless you didn’t, in which case I really can’t blame you).

 

A case of unfortunate pole placement…

While driving to the booming metropolis nearby (read: slightly larger town half an hour away), I happened to stop at a red light in one of the smaller towns along the way. Looking to my left, I saw this lovely sign, and was quick enough to snap a picture.

Would you like one of our Bitch Pizzas? It's the house special.

Would you like one of our Bitch Pizzas? It’s the house special.

Gotta love some good old small town humor.

 

Quotes from a British Guy

In my department, we have a lovely man who hails from the land of Beefeaters, Doctor Who and delicious accents. I thoroughly enjoy listening to him talk, especially when he does something particularly British.

The other day, we had several meetings of our team throughout the day, and he dropped these gems into my lap to giggle about later on.

“..If we don’t talk to them about it, things will tend to go a bit pear-shaped…”

Physical comedy at its greatest, ladies and gentlemen:

*starts to ask a question*
*gets words confused*
*sputters*
*silence*
*Takes a drink of tea and looks around*

And my personal favorite:

Boss: “Has anyone heard of veritas?”
Brit: “Yes, it’s Latin for truth.”
Me:*giggling that the Brit knows Latin*
Brit: *Points to me* “She’s scoffing!”

Honestly, it made the meetings much more entertaining, and I look forward to documenting more “bloody hell’s” and references to “boiled sweets” in the future on this blog.