Bet You Didn’t Hear About This on the News…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this phrase on Facebook in the last few months, generally followed by a link to a news story about a horrible murder/rape/despicable act (extra points if the despicable act involves people of two different races!).

I know it stems from the amount of time newscasters have spent on the Trayvon Martin case, but this is such an obnoxious way to say that you find the amount of coverage unnecessary (and, in my opinion, a way to be a racist without having to resort to the n-word on public forums).

The thing that especially bugs me about these “unique” Facebook posts is the fact that most of the links are to major news sites (Fox, ABC, CBS, etc.), which means that whoever posted this article about a “pregnant woman killed in brutal racially motivated murder” found it on a news site! You’re commenting on how it is not in the news (supposedly due to extreme coverage of an African-American boy who was shot that you have no feelings for), while you read the article in the news!

Gah!

Sometimes I just can’t stand people, and more and more those people are on my Facebook. I honestly think that this is the reason why a lot of (younger) people are flocking to social medias like twitter – it’s a bit more casual in that you can unfollow someone who bugs you without them knowing, and they can still follow you. It makes me feel better about whittling down my friends list, in a way that I feel I cannot do on Facebook (without horribly offending people that I really don’t care about, but would rather not offend, because I’m a bit of a pussy like that).

Okay, I just needed to rant that out a bit. Thanks for staying with me (unless you didn’t, in which case I really can’t blame you).

 

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A case of unfortunate pole placement…

While driving to the booming metropolis nearby (read: slightly larger town half an hour away), I happened to stop at a red light in one of the smaller towns along the way. Looking to my left, I saw this lovely sign, and was quick enough to snap a picture.

Would you like one of our Bitch Pizzas? It's the house special.

Would you like one of our Bitch Pizzas? It’s the house special.

Gotta love some good old small town humor.

 

Quotes from a British Guy

In my department, we have a lovely man who hails from the land of Beefeaters, Doctor Who and delicious accents. I thoroughly enjoy listening to him talk, especially when he does something particularly British.

The other day, we had several meetings of our team throughout the day, and he dropped these gems into my lap to giggle about later on.

“..If we don’t talk to them about it, things will tend to go a bit pear-shaped…”

Physical comedy at its greatest, ladies and gentlemen:

*starts to ask a question*
*gets words confused*
*sputters*
*silence*
*Takes a drink of tea and looks around*

And my personal favorite:

Boss: “Has anyone heard of veritas?”
Brit: “Yes, it’s Latin for truth.”
Me:*giggling that the Brit knows Latin*
Brit: *Points to me* “She’s scoffing!”

Honestly, it made the meetings much more entertaining, and I look forward to documenting more “bloody hell’s” and references to “boiled sweets” in the future on this blog.

Your Song for Today

So, there’s this song that I’ve had the insane urge to listen to on repeat for several hours (and I have. Not for hours, but three or four times in a row). I’ve heard it before, but it never really struck me how beautiful it is until the other day.

The song is Measure the Globe, by Astronautalis, and you can listen to it here to understand its awesome:

If you’ve never heard of Astronautalis, he’s an awesome rapper/folk/rock singer guy, and I highly suggest you check out some of his other stuff (you can see it on YouTube, or buy it on iTunes if you’re really into him.)

Failed by Fiction

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel desperately, hopelessly failed by fiction? Where you read something on a book or saw it in a movie and just believed that it was possible? I realized yesterday that I had experienced one of those moments years ago, and never fully understood what had happened.

Like most people do on the Fourth of July, I went to see the fireworks. Waiting all evening for it to get dark, we finally got to see the sky light up with sparks and colors and visual noise. It was beautiful, it really was, but I realized last night that I’m always a little disappointed by fireworks.

English: Fireworks on the Fourth of July

English: Fireworks on the Fourth of July (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why? Because of fiction.

I read fantasy books as a child, where magicians can make fireworks look like dragons, or people, or anything they wanted, really. In my head I imagined beautifully sparkling figures in reds and greens and purples, sparking and fizzling until they were cloudy outlines of themselves.

They were beautiful, and in my head, I always expected real fireworks to be able to do the same thing.

In fact, it wasn’t until I had reached an age too embarrassing to admit that I fully realized that fireworks were spherical, not just flat circles. Logically, I understood it, but I didn’t realize it until I had the time to give it some thought.

At that moment, I understood that of course fireworks can’t be shapes; they’re just colorful explosions set off at a safe distance from the earth to awe the masses. And in my heart, I was disappointed. Not because the fireworks I saw each year weren’t pretty – they were. But they weren’t what I had always wanted them to be, and the things of fiction will never be possible in real life.

The Best Way to Change

I look through my spam inbox frequently, which has resulted in Spam Haikus, a series of haiku poems using only words found in spam emails. It’s challenging and wonderful and makes me feel creative while I sit in a cubicle and stare at HTML text.

But since starting a blog, I’ve come across a new kind of spam. You all know the kind; comments that say things like

spam

and

spam

Well, some of these are strangely lovely, and I’ve decided to use their words (combined throughout the weeks) as part of a poem. All I’ve added is a bit of punctuation, and that’s more for my own sanity than anything else.

Here is is.

wishing for blogging
is not merely for safekeeping –
Luck is more advanced than search engines.

Money and freedom is the best way to change
what is so perfect about modern-day democracy
as well as the marketplace of ideas.

And irrespective,
Your perspective… is the best way to change.
i think it will be helpful.

this method climbs into your current kidney
inflicting indication within just a number –
a fastidious one.

Shiny
really does understand gentle generating looks
Nevertheless, confused.

As strange as it is, I’m awfully fond of this. Although, I sincerely believe that it can be summed up in the last line.