Beware of Dolphins

So, my job entails a lot of social media posting/tweeting/trolling, and occasionally I get mind-trapped by strange articles with odd headlines (read this blog entry about an article on blue balls, if you think this is a weird tendency).

While searching for relevant things to post, I came across an article about a couple that flew to Hawaii to give birth with dolphins. Seriously, this is the new way for rich people to spend their money. Now, I’ve heard of the benefits of having a water birth, but something is seriously wrong with trying to justify giving birth among dolphins. That is not what dolphins are for.

And all throughout the article, I couldn’t help but think about this episode of the Simpsons:

 

killer dolphins

Yes, that screen says “Killer Dolphins.” Don’t believe me?

And this happened:

KILLER DOLPHINS, motherfucker.

KILLER DOLPHINS, motherfucker.

 

No, I do not believe that I will be having a dolphin-assisted birth  any time soon.

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